Friday, 31 October 2014

Filthy Perverted Lawmakers

In Singapore some lawmakers have created a new law that makes it illegal for a man to insert his penis into the anus of another man. What filthy perverts these lawmakers are, getting off on making up laws about things that are none of their business. They disgust me. 

The filth of sticking their laws where they don't belong, the perversion of twisting the definition of justice.


Happy Halloween Fiona

There's a guy who hangs around my neighbourhood, I reckon he suffered a brain injury a few years back. He looks like he was once a tall, broad shouldered, black curly haired, twinkle eyed, cheeky smiled fellow. Now his hair has fallen out in patches, his eyes are dead, his mouth falls open slackly. He has a stoop, walks by throwing his good leg out in a large step, dragging the other behind him, balancing long enough on his bad leg to throw out the good one again. Sometimes he loses his balance, stumbles across a couple of lanes of pedestrian traffic. His arms hang by his sides, wobble pathetically with his haphazard motion.

This being a nightlife area, tonight being Halloween, pretty young ladies were out in numbers. A gaggle of them, probably all named Fiona, saw this fellow lurching up the main drag, ran to him excitedly, thrilled by his brilliant, uncanny zombie impression. Now this man walks the main street all day and night, bored, broke, lonely, trying to scrounge a few cigarettes and enough coins to buy a few beers. He doesn't expect much, and certainly doesn't expect six or seven young lovelies with expensive haircuts and short, fashionable skirts, surrounding him and all talking at once. He smiled, revealing that he has recently lost his two front teeth. It was then that the girls knew that they'd made a mistake. 

One young lady, and lady she was, I'm guessing her name is Fiona, stepped up to save the day. She asked him, "you're a local, right? Where's a good place for us to go for a drink?"

The zombie impersonator thought for a moment, pointed down the street, mumbled something no one could understand. The girl shouted a thank you, rallied the rest of the Fionas, lead the charge onwards down the street. Another lady hastily lit a cigarette, an excuse to offer one. It was gratefully received, the awkward moment was gracefully and tactfully resolved. 

I'm pretty sure the man who once suffered a brain injury, who was once a strapping lad, had no idea what had just happened, just that he had helped out a group of beautiful young women, and that they all thanked him and seemed to think he was pretty cool. 

Happy Halloween to all.


Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Friday, 17 October 2014

Get Us On The Radio

Do you feel like doing me a favour? You know you do. Just click on the link below, play, rate, review, like, share, whatever turns you on. This will help us get on Australian youth music radio, and all that follows from that. In advance, I thank you.