Monday, 28 September 2015

21st Century Primitives, Very Short Science Fiction #24

Of course we can thank 21st century Earth for teaching us how to affect an atmosphere and heat or cool a planet. Here at Gore Planetary Climate Adjustments we like to think we've enhanced and refined that knowledge, honed it to a fine art. Our machines, landed on the planet up to a decade before any people arrive, source local fuels and produce the precise range of emissions to create the perfect climate for your requirements. 

The odd thing is that the people of 21st century Earth called these emissions pollution, considered them a bad thing. It's hard to imagine such a primitive way of looking at a world. 


Sunday, 27 September 2015

Women Are Joining IS Because . . .

Australian women are flocking to join the organisation that calls itself Islamic State. However I look at it I cannot find a way to understand such a phenomenon. Like all the Australian men who join IS I hope all the women are killed and killed rapidly, the world will be a better place without those who choose to fly to the other side of the world to pursue religious insanity. I am bewildered by women being attracted to a religious insanity that hates women, but the answer may lie within that hatred, some ladies do crave the suffering.

I turn to you dear reader, I ask you to explain for me. I'm already risking torture and murder by writing this, at the hands of either group I've mentioned, come along and join me in my fool's parade. Simply complete the following sentence, help me understand, or at least make me laugh.

Women are joining IS because . . .

I dare you.

Oh, Echo!



"Echo, I know your story."


"Because you fooled Hera she punished you."


"You were doomed to speak only the last word you heard, forever."


"Echo, I'm here to tell you that the gods are dead."


"Echo, I'm here to set you free."


"Echo, the gods are dead, they can no longer punish you, be free."


"Please Echo, be free."


"Please Echo!"


"Oh, Echo!"




Saturday, 26 September 2015

After Surfing

Throwing Small Stones At A Big Stone

This week in Saudi Arabia seven hundred and sixty nine people  were trampled to death by fellow adherents of Islam. Some religious scholars have claimed that those who organised the Hajj were not responsible for the mismanagement of the situation because fate and destiny manage everything.

The people who died were on their way to throw small stones at a bigger stone that they believed represented the devil. These people purchased bags of stones for the purpose, because any naturally occurring small stones were thrown at the bigger stone by other pilgrims in the past.

The people who died did not believe in evolution.



Thursday, 24 September 2015

Compliance, Very Short Science Fiction #23

"Don't you dare to look at me that way! Who the hell are you? You come here because you need my advice, you can't do anything without my advice, yet you try to look down on me, look at me like I'm something that you scraped off the bottom of your shoe. People like you look at compliance lawyers as If we are the cause of all your problems, when you really know that we are just a symptom. Your problem is caused by centuries of world wide democracy,yes, your treasured democracy,and hundreds of years of each politician leaving his mark on history by inventing at least one more law. That those laws now conflict and intertwine, that they're impossible to comprehend without years of training and a naturally obtuse mind, that you need me before you can decide anything, that is a symptom, I am the end result of centuries of freedom. You are free to not consult me, to find your way through the law, but you know you need me, that only I can lead you through the tangled web of legality and keep you out of prison. You need a compliance lawyer, you need me, so don't look at me that way."



Tuesday, 22 September 2015

One Small Step For Smoking, Very Short Science Fiction #22

If it weren't for the invention of the healthy cigarette, that's not only harmless, but actually increases lung capacity, humans could never have colonised a low oxygen planet like Brynner VII.