This blog post is all about me. I usually try to write on universal themes, ideas, sometimes old fashioned gags, but this one's about me. Deal with it.
A bit over twenty years ago I picked up a flute, felt a natural affinity, practised my arse off, played as a full time professional for the next decade. I kept playing it a little after that, mainly kicked guitars around and trialled and errored until I could sing. I've written a handful of songs that I'm proud of, a couple that are pretty funny. There's been a little saxophone honking along the way. I've done some good work.
I've realized now that my time as a full time player is over. It's cool, comes a time, I simply don't have the drive to push a career and I can't be a bum musician all my life. It's cool, I'll play for love or money when the time and place are right, enjoy the playing, ride the waves that come my way. I'm pretty certain I'll enjoy it more and possibly receive more success. It's all cool.
So one life is ending, a new one must begin. I've discovered that in twenty years of playing music I was visiting many different worlds that I would never have seen otherwise. I've played in the roughest dives, the poshest homes, I've played on the street, sitting on a white grand piano, on three continents, I've played with sweethearts and arseholes, I've played for sweethearts and arseholes, I've dealt with gangsters and socialites, been rich and poor. I have some tales to tell.
I've also discovered a desire to write, a new way to express myself. I'm taking the first baby steps towards becoming a writer, can see a way ahead to becoming a full time professional. I've started from scratch and late before, I can do it again. Time will tell.
After twenty years of playing music I am leaving it with exactly what I started with. Not much. I've had moments of bitterness, only moments, I chose a path, followed it, ended up here, so it goes. It's cool.
After wandering for many years I have made a decision. A genuine, stick my hands in and squeeze decision. It feels good. Now I know what each day is for, what my work is. A man without work is not a man. I used to get this feeling from music, now I'm getting it from writing.
This decision feels good. I feel good. Everything is cool. Tomorrow is a new and exciting day.
Tomorrow normal transmission will be resumed, today it is all about me.
Deal with it.