"What have you done?"
"At this point I would dearly like to claim that the answer to that question is fairly obvious, in this instance, in fairness, I cannot. What I have done is made everyone honest."
"I've remained calm when you have turned the humans into all sorts of things, statues, cats and dogs, infants, I seem to remember an incident when you turned all the men into walking penises, but honest? Are you sure you haven't gone too far?"
"Well, at first I thought perhaps I had gone too far, which was odd because too far always seems so far away to me. There were hurt feelings everywhere, social order was breaking down, almost primitive tribes had formed around beliefs in certain types of honesty, I really thought I'd ruined everything. However a small amendment appears to have fixed everything."
"What did you do?"
"I made everyone honest with themselves, as well as everyone else."
"And that has made a difference?"
"Allow me to explain it to you this way. If I were to abandon my usual tact, inform you that your tie and waistcoat go together much in the way that Stalin and paranoia went together, never with positive results for those standing nearby, or at a distance for that matter, there is a chance my honesty, and dare I say taste, may upset you. However, if you were in a state of complete honesty with yourself, stood in front of a mirror and took a long look, you would see that I was correct and thank me for the information. By the way I would keep the waistcoat but the mauve in that tie does nothing to enhance . . ."
"I believe I have a grasp of the analogy, thank you."
"You see? Now you are upset. By making the humans honest with themselves no one becomes upset about anything. It is by far the most encouraging experiment so far."
"So, do you plan do leave them this way, honest, honest with themselves, free of upset and misunderstanding?"
"Sadly, no. The downfall I hadn't accounted for is the part that insecurity plays in the human mind. Without it they do nothing. It seems insecurity, uncertainty, the need to prove themselves over and over again is what drives them on. Show me a secure, contented man and I'll show you the most tedious of creatures. Stalin was of course the other end of that scale, the balance between the two ensures the humans continue to evolve without destroying themselves. It is a great disappointment to me, I thought, for a moment, that I had cracked it this time."
"I admire your courage for attempting honesty, a daring and worthy experiment. So really, this tie? You really think I should change it?"
"At least one good thing will have come of all my work."
"Very good, carry on."