"What have you done?"
"Well, I would have thought the answer to that question is fairly obvious. I have turned all the men into penises."
"I should have known better than to ask."
"I believe the question you meant to ask was . . . why?"
"Get on with it."
"Well, it seemed to me that men were constantly being accused of being walking penises, that there might be something in it. I thought it might simplify things for everyone if fact and myth were combined."
"I have heard the complaint that men think through their sex organs, perhaps, this time, you are onto something?"
"I also thought it might clear up the size issue. Much human time and effort is wasted on this topic, this way there is no doubt, the facts are on display."
"So every penis is . . ."
"Indeed, anatomically accurate, to the last detail, just expanded to the size of men, you know, so they could get along in the world, not be stepped on accidentally and the like."
"Very thoughtful of you I'm sure."
"Everything is going swimmingly. A lot of pointless anxiety has been cleared up, and I've received many letters from women thanking me for making everything so clear to them. Now they know what a penis is thinking simply by observing his state of rigidity. If a penis is pretending to be interested in her garden, her romantic history, her home renovation plans, she soon knows what he is really thinking."
"Couldn't all this have been achieved with the installation of a simple indicator light, say on the foreheads of men?"
"Yes yes yes of course, always the engineer aren't you? Of course I considered that, but this way is so much more entertaining, picturesque, don't you think?"
"I guess you are right."
"Unfortunately I will have to change them all back soon enough. Without arms and legs all the things that men once did are going undone. It seems that in between being walking penises these menfolk performed many other tasks, that the civilization itself is reliant on their achievements. Who'd have thought? That they are driven to perform everything they do by this innate, penis focused desire doesn't change the fact that they get things done, face the realities of life with remarkable aplomb. I've actually discovered a new respect for these much maligned men."
"Very good, carry on."